The One Thing That Is Making Your Wedding Planning Miserable

san diego wedding planner

...and what to do instead!

I’ve been engaged for almost a year now. Corey, my fiance, is my partner in crime and I can’t think of anyone better to plan a wedding with (okay, and spend my life with!). Like every other couple in love, the first few months of our engagement we were bombarded with family members and friends asking us for EVERY.SINGLE.DETAIL. of the wedding. Sound familiar? Being the perceptive individual I am, the one thing I noticed was how many nuances there are to planning a wedding...and also how expensive a wedding really is in California.

While “take the money and run” sometimes sounds like a great idea - I know Corey wouldn’t mind - I can’t freakin’ wait to get married and have my fairytale day with my prince charming.

Given that the wedding is about 8-9 months out, I’m going to start documenting every little bit of the way to take you along for the journey. Before I get into the details though, this post is for those of you that just got engaged or are about to get engaged - girl, you nag until you get the ring! (kidding) - so keep reading if you want to have a blissful and stress-free engagement.

So here’s the thing, weddings have been around since the dawn of time. Over all of the years, rules and etiquettes were established that pointed out exactly how you are supposed to do everything for your special day.

There are blog posts, books, PLANNERS, and thousands of resources that walk you through how to plan *your* special day. As I started planning our wedding and people started pointing out these “rules” to me, I realized I really didn’t resonate with a lot of them.

Yes I want the white dress.

Yes I want the ceremony.

Yes I want the cake (duh).

But, what about the things that I don’t want? Why does the DJ have to announce the wedding party between the ceremony and reception? Why can’t my dog be the flower girl? Why is it my responsibility to reserve rooms for out-of-towners?

I think you get the idea. There are all these damn rules that will drive you crazy. Some make sense, some are just to be polite, and some are just downright nonsense that did not resonate with me at all. After all, planning a wedding is supposed to be fun - the moment it becomes stressful, you gotta redirect.

If there is a fast track way to making yourself miserable when planning your wedding, it’s subscribing to all of the rules that the blogs, planners, and outsiders tell you. its about you and your significant other, so do what makes you happy.

It is YOUR special day and yes, people are coming together to celebrate you and there are gifts and money and travel and effort that goes into attending a wedding, but ultimately you need to stay confident and secure in the way you want your special day to go.

Whether it’s wearing a different color dress (we’re not all virgins getting married anyway) or skipping the bridesmaids and groomsmen, owning the decisions that you make to create your wedding is fundamental in making the days leading up to it stress-free.

I get it - having the parents and friends giving their two cents on everything is always going to happen - but what I’ve noticed is that when I communicate that I am planning it on my terms and not going to be entirely traditional, my close circle always responds with support. Sure, they might huff and puff, but it’s not about them. It’s about Corey and I (or you and your boo!).

Also, the only thing that really matters is that you have a cool venue, great food, and an open bar. Everything else is just extra that no one will likely remember anyway.

So CHEERS to your engagement and cheers to your wedding. May it be stress-free, filled with love, and curated however the heck you want it to be!